Summary of the Workshops as Reported in the Plenary Sessions

1.0 Introduction

There were two workshops held on the day – one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The morning workshop concerned the opportunities resulting from intercultural families, while the afternoon workshop concerned the challenges. These deep understandings were conveyed by participants from more than 15 cultural backgrounds, who are living with and deeply understand both the challenges and the opportunities.

2.0 The Opportunities

The opportunities perceived for intercultural families can be divided into four broad categories: promotion of intercultural understanding, enrichment of the predominant culture, advantages for children, and the promotion of stronger family life.

2.1 Promotion of intercultural understanding

An intercultural family physically represents the fundamental fact that we are only one race – the human race. Intercultural families demonstrate the possibility of achieving unity in diversity. They, by their very existence, educate Irish society and reduce the fear of the unknown.

Intercultural families create a more intimate understanding between the two cultures involved, thereby reducing prejudice and nationalism. Prejudice is usually the result of ignorance. Intercultural families promote the reduction of prejudice internally and with friends. Children of intercultural families are often able to influence prejudiced adults in the wider society more effectively than adults.

The partner of the minority culture gets to show the culture at large the best of his/her culture as he/she mixes with his/her partner’s friends and family. To be an “ambassador” for your race through your partner is a great opportunity to reduce prejudice.

Friends are sometimes challenged and awakened by your intercultural marriage, and may lead them to consider such an idea, whereas without your marriage they would not have considered intercultural union. An intercultural marriage demonstrates that the heart is something that cannot be controlled by the norms of society.

The partner belonging to the predominant culture becomes more acutely aware of the norms of that society, where prejudice can be subtle. An intercultural marriage forces the partners to confront their own prejudices

2.2 Enrichment of the predominant culture

The intimate interaction of cultures resulting from intercultural families can bring about an enrichment, for example, of the music and literature of both cultures within the family. Differences of habit, ways of approaching and understanding the challenges of life, etc. that were once thought of as differences that might cause division, become seen as opportunities for a beneficial broadening of approach.

The partner of the minority culture is often given the social freedom to be different and behave in ways that are new and enlightening for the dominant culture.

As a family you no longer can blindly follow the rules of either culture. You change or disregard the rules that need not apply, taking the good from each culture.

2.3 Advantages for children

Children of intercultural families have the opportunity to become intimately familiar with both cultures, e.g. they might become bilingual. They are also possibly stronger mentally and have stronger constitutions than those of a monocultural background. The challenges they face make them stronger.

Children of intercultural families break down prejudices in a natural way with their friends of other backgrounds during the crucial younger years. Children of intercultural families tend to be less prejudiced, as they don’t belong exclusively to any one race. They are “world citizens” who empathise with the entire human race rather than hiding behind a particular racial background and viewing those of other backgrounds with fear. Children of intercultural families tend to transcend cultural or national pride, which can cause problems when taken to the extreme.

2.4 Promotion of stronger family life

An intercultural family requires choices to be made (as opposed to a traditional approach, where choices are made for you), and this active managing of the family’s future results in better choices being made. Families think “out of the box” by necessity. There is active discussion about the children’s education, religious upbringing, etc.

The challenges of an intercultural family strengthen the family bonds, and the challenges of intercultural marriage can increase the resolve of the partners to make their marriage work.

Their different backgrounds can encourage greater openness and communication between husband and wife, as there are more issues to discuss.

3.0 The Challenges

It was noted that it is often easier in general to focus on the challenges than the opportunities. Society is presently spiritually impoverished, and poor standards of behaviour and general ignorance of proper morals exacerbates racism. Time and pain and sacrifice are required to move humanity toward a world society. Today’s interracial marriage partners are “pioneers” in that sense, and their sacrifices will hasten the day when intercultural marriage is taken as normal. The challenges facing intercultural marriages can be classified as external (i.e. outside of the marriage) and internal.

3.1 External challenges

Safety issues for intercultural partners and their children must be carefully monitored. Physical danger can be preceded by ugly looks, verbal abuse and spitting.

Discrimination in employment, both in getting jobs and in progressing within jobs, is a significant issue. Poor job prospects can strain a marriage. Even something as simple as not having a common name can lead to discrimination.

Discrimination in educational opportunities for your children is another challenge. Competition for places in schools at a high level, and people of non-Irish cultures can be at a disadvantage.

There is undoubtedly a silent majority who want to see intercultural marriages succeed. How does one assist that silent majority to be more outwardly supportive? How does one appropriately bring the issues of racism into the public eye to be dealt with? More “pro” (as opposed to “anti”) groups are needed for supporting intercultural families.

A common challenge is in the area of communication. Language and gestures can mean one thing in one culture and something else in another. The formalities of interaction can be different, for example physical contact may be welcome in one culture and not in another.

Intercultural marriages must often deal with immigration issues for one or both of the partners.

3.2 Internal challenges

It is a fact that partners in intercultural marriages often don’t have a shared history/background (education, culture, values). Therefore your partner may not know “where you are coming from”. For example he/she might not be able to initially understand why you might find certain things offensive and vice versa.

Difference in cultural values can take time to blend. It is necessary to be patient and detached, to be willing to learn from mistakes, to be willing to compromise and to sacrifice your own ideas at times.

The children of intercultural marriages must face issues that they otherwise would not. Raising intercultural children can be a great challenge. For example it is a challenge to impart to your children the truth about racism, and to build their own self esteem in the face of racism. The fostering of your children’s identity can also be a challenge. For example your child may wish in vain to see somebody who looks like her/him to relate to.

It is difficult to be able to relate to what you’re children are going through in school and in their other social interaction, possibly having not gone through it yourself, and especially if you are from a different culture.

Recognising and acknowledging your own prejudices can be difficult. It is natural to fight back in the face of prejudice, and difficult to remain open and not retreat into a defensive shell.

Often one of the partners in an intercultural marriage ends up living in the other partner’s culture. It requires good communication and understanding.